X Factor

Normally, if I were to ask to join the X-Men, the process would go a little something like this;

ME : “Hello Professor X, I’d like to join the X-Men please. Nice house, by the way.”

PX : “Thank you. Well, we’re always keen to welcome new applicants, what’s your super power?”

ME : “Here’s the thing, whenever I leave England, the weather becomes unseasonably warm. So, for example, if I take a holiday, it’s always lovely and sunny back home. Every time, without fail. Either my presence attracts overcast skies, or by leaving the country, the sun is compelled by my sheer will alone to blaze hotter than it normally does. Over England.”

PX : “I see…”

ME : “I thought, maybe I could be called ‘Fridge Doorman’ because the sun comes out, when I go. Like the light coming on in the fridge when you take something out. Do you follow me?”

PX : “Yes, I do…”

ME : “So, what do you think my chances of getting in are…?

PX : “Erm… just leave your details with Jean Grey on the way out and we’ll call you if we need you.

Imagine my surprise then, as this time it’s raining back home and gloriously sunny here in Finland!

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